FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE
A simple love ; Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. With Real Love, people are not disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes, when we don’t do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally.
I've been single for almost to 2 years .
Cool isn't ?
Sometimes i wish to be attached to someone ,
sometimes i wish i'm alone .
Somehow, whatever ~
i'm into someone .
Thats really like , FINALLY ~
i'm over "her"
well , things shall take it's own time .
Never rush for it , if it meant to be , eventually it'll come to you
Hasn't been updating my blog yesterday . Had really been busy , and hardly get time to update.
well , been heading out almost everyday . I guess , is also time for me to find a job ASAP , before my birthday come , i guess ?
Recently , been thinking about myself , have i really change much ? I guess i do .
A better change or worse ? I aren't sure . Had a haircut the day before . I guess i look more charming now :P I'm in love with my hair <3
charming enough ? :P
Earlier on , was talking to someone about some matter .This came to my mind .
Why human can be so heartless towards people that care for them ?
For example ; knowng the person is treating you well , being nice to them , giving all their effort . Care for them , despite that they use that chance to make use of you , making you look like a fool , telling someone about what he/she actually did , and yet infront of them saying " I'll appreciate your doings" -.-
Fuck all this craps . I'm not being mean , but really . Sometimes humans just can't decide what are they doing. We treat them nice, because we treat them as one of our beloved friend , someone we would show love and care to . But we aren't someone who they can " reuse, reduce , recycle" . Coming back and forth as when they like or when they are in need of help or we people to be around .
Why can't humans just learn to appreciate what we actually have infront of us ? Appreciate those people who are treating us well . Is there really such heartless people on earth ? Are they even human ?
I dislike people who take me for granted , i guess that's for everyone . Isn't ? who love to be taken for granted ? I'm nice but i aren't someone who you can climb on top of my head . I may no show , but that doesn't mean i don't feel anything . I'm no dumb enough to trust you anymore . I think that's be the end of our friendship . Or maybe just hi-bye friend ? Maybe not . I guess .
Just tired of having you around . It's more than enough .
If i really were to ignore you , that's means you and i are really totally over .
anyway , it's 7:18am . Shall continue with my drama .
Life is such a bitch at times isin't? Sometimes i'm really so tired of life . No idea of how to head forward , impossible to turn back the clock . It's so tough being a human sometimes. I do agree life is full of fun . ups and down. Sometimes at the lowest point of myself , i couldn't care much but to let my emotion to take over control of myself . It just sucks so much , the moment when your tears roll down from your eye and all you could do was to cry . What's after crying ? Tired ? Escape ? What else ? I aren't someone who will escape my problems , i'm finding ways to handle them . Telling myself , decide to delete everything of yours . Just when i'm doing fine without you , you pop out in my life again . At that point of time , i told myself that i can't let this control me , because i know for sure , things will start again . Indeed it did and now i've to try hard to let you go again . I've no idea why you meant so much to me . It's really weird . One thing i know , i care . I care for you more than anyone else . I've given you everything . I'm left with my life and soul . Do you want them too ?
"
There’s always a little truth behind every “just kidding,” a little knowledge behind every “I don’t know,” a little emotion behind every “I don’t care,” and a little pain behind every “It’s okay.” "
This quote above is pretty true . I swear . I aren't someone who will share my problems out , i prefer handling them to myself . People says " Share it to someone else that you trust , you'll feel better " Yeah , that's true . What's after that ? Feeling is back to square one and there isn't any help at all . Get what i mean . yeah~ After all we are born alone . I bet we die alone too . But with god , jesus guiding me through , i believe everything is just a piece of cake to me . life will be better for me as i go through this .
"if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted would you capture it or just let it slip? "
i still love you
it's time to let it to the end of our story .
Everything will be fine for me .
Today . went out the whole day . Many things happened . Hope things will go smoothly . I'm pretty tired and shall rest early tonight .
But ofcourse . Before that , i shall watch my show first (:
From start , till now . I guess it's time for me to stop .For the past few months , without your appearance , i'm doing good with my life till that day .Please , as i beg you . Go if you chose to , and don't make a U-turn back to look for me .I might believe in you once again . Sometimes things are meant to be this way . Now , i'm struggle to live , to get rid of you ASAP .I hate the way of me being upset because of you . Although im used to your doing , doesn't mean it not longer hurts . Please , once and for all . Go . Your appearance have been a misery for me .
Well , these days been busy . Hardly had time to update my blog . Phone die on me always . what a shag life . Head to ace chalet today , and just got back home earlier on and i guess it's time for me to have a good long sleep today . Really tired . kthxbye . Shall update soon . Lastly . I shall end it with a song .
Love is...being happy for the other person when they are happy, Being sad for the person when they are sad, Being together in good times, And being together in bad times.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF STRENGTH.
Love is...Being honest with yourself at all times, Being honest with the other person at all times, Telling, listening, respecting the truth, And never pretending.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF REALITY.
Love is...An understanding so complete that you feel as if you are a part of the other person, Accepting the other person just the way they are, And not trying to change them to be something else.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF UNITY.
Love is...The freedom to pursue your own desires while sharing your experiences with the other person, The growth of one individual alongside of and together with the growth of another individual.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF SUCCESS.
Love is...The excitement of planning things together, The excitement of doing things together.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF THE FUTURE.
Love is...The fury of the storm, The calm in the rainbow.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF PASSION.
Love is...Giving and taking in a daily situation, Being patient with each other's needs and desires.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF SHARING.
Love is...Knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens, Missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times.
LOVE IS THE SOURCE OF SECURITY.
LOVE IS...THE SOURCE OF LIFE!
But no one can give the proper definition of love.
To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck.
You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it,
love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare.
Been seeing things happen these days . It doesn't seems good .
Sometime i feel , love is such a tough things in the world.
It include we human's feeling , emotions and doings .
Others have been asking , why do i want to be a butch ?
Being hurt by guys ?
Infact , i didn't got hurt by guys . Is just that guys makes me feel insecure all the times .
Their doing , their actions .
Sometime i think and start questioning .
Why humans can't express themselves .
If we love , we show , we say .
Betrays , hitting etc aren't suppose to be in .
Loving someone isin't suppose to be
Caring for the partner , be it are they doing good or not ?
Taking care , being lovable by their side when they need us ?
Pamper , dote and being there just like a best friend for them to listen and share burden with them ?
Going through all kinds of shits be it who ?
and ofcourse , i don't see that much .
we get a partner to dote , to care , to love .
there should not include hitting , scolding etc .
That's called abuse and not love .
As for me , reason of me being a butch .
Because i wish to pamper and dote someone i really love and that's the purpose .
It's weird that humans nature doings aren't what we say . same goes to me .
But i'll never take granted for someone who loves me .
Being loyal and faithful , that's me .
I used to have a ex-boyfriend . I don't hate him.
Infact , i still love him , up till today .
Reason of me leaving , because he left for further studies at other country .
I claim that i'll wait . Same goes to him .
But at the same time he's pushing me to someone else .
That makes me wanna leave .
Do what you want , not what you must .
He came back to look for me when he's back last year .
I rejected him , because i've became a butch .
I'm someone who won't change my mind set , my doing for anyone .
I've people asking me , you won't change to a girl ?
well , that's hard to say , i can't predict my future .
so far , guys i've seen , really isin't my expectations .
Therefore girls are much more better for me .
Infact , for guy . I say honestly , feeling for guys are weird for me.
because , i can never love them well enough , just weird feelings .
My expectations aren't much for others .
for myself , i ask for a perfect .
i know , there's nothing called perfect .
But atleast nearer to the word "perfect" there is .
I want a "nearly perfect" personality for myself .
Recently , i've been wanting to get myself into a relationship .
i won't get into a relationship just for fun .
i would love to pamper and love someone .
i don't haunt for partner .
i prefer things that goes naturally .
i want pure love .
Afterall , love is still the hardest things to handle in world
but without love , life is nothing .
Tuesday , june 19 2012
Went out to city plaza in the late afternoon to meet elysia , andric , wynn , zarius , clare and ahjie . After that head to sengkang than to bedok and lastly to pasir ris (costa sand) and back home . Got home around 2+ till now .It's 5:47am now
Shall watch my show now , that's all for today .
shall update soon ♥
lastly , share with you guys a song that i've been addicted with it these days.
I'm finally done with my blog . It's been really long ever since i closed my blog . Blogger change so much that I've no idea how to change my template and i decided not to blog because of that few months back . Thanks ahting for helping me to get it done last night and of course right now , i know how to edit them already . Decided to open a blog again because sometimes i really need place for me rant . Like seriously . Twitter is fine , just that there's limit for tweeting . DAMN !
Recently , been thinking alot . After all , almost everyday my mind is thinking about things . I'm someone who chose to be quiet at time , observe things and think really alot . Been wanting to drink badly , but i didn't .Talking about drinking , back than . A year back . I remember i was really a heavy drinker that i drink almost once a week at least , for some reasons i decide to cut down on alcoholic drinks . Sometimes i feel very stressful , when i think about my family , someone who i really care and worry for . I worry everyday ."Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" Thinking and hoping all this will last longer so that i won't have to face all this burden so early . Sometime i ask , why can't my family be at least a little better for me to handle in future. Thinking about future scares me. It makes me teared in the night or be it in the morning whenever I'm alone , awake . Thinking about it . It's scary being alone .
Everyone wants to be love by someone they love , isn't ?
What can we do when actually things aren't the way we feel ?
How it actually feels when someone whom you used to give them everything and lately found out that they actually are just making use of you ?
It seems stupid isn't ?
1 year 3 months of waiting , something that you will never realize , until you're awake and you start thinking about it , and you realize that actually you've all the while being the fool .I don't regret being nice to someone . I'm silly and being soft hearted to people around me that i care and love . Especially towards you .
I dislike someone who come and goes as when they like in my life . My life doesn't allow "re-entry" .But just somehow , towards you . I can never be angry with you for long. But a real big deep disappointment towards you . Don't come to me , when you needed me to be there . Disappearing after a period of time and come back again . That's not how i wish to . But right now, I'm used to your doings. Today the person am i , right now . I won't be giving out anything to you like before . Although , yes , my feelings for you still there . You're just someone that I'll never be angry with for long . These days I've not been texting you , replying you . Reason because , i guess i should be out of your life . All the while , you've been the one walking out , this time round . I'll be the one and never will i U-turn back . I'm sorry .
Monday , june 18 2012
Yesterday , had fun going out with elysia , heyzer ,maryn , clare , zarius , jeremy , andric , desmond and bryan head to sentosa in the afternoon at 2pm in the afternoon , when we are suppose to be meeting in the morning instead :l They went for a swim , while me sitting down and had myself being tanned , alittle and right after that , I'm actually suppose to be heading for my work for the first day , but i changed it and went down to somerset 313 with them and to cineleisure . Settling some problems and me and taigong heading to crown pool to have some rounds of pool games . Was thinking of going bryan's house together with taigong , jeremy , gary for a drink but everyone end up going back home after that. Reached home around 1+ am till now i'm awake .I've been sleepless for 2 days , eyes are closing wherever i go today ): I should have good sleep tonight and see if there's any plans for tomorrow and heading to work after that . I'm cashless, broke . I need to work . I need money . Without money , we human can do nothing . I gotta work hard and earn money for my this coming 18th birthday for celebration and bring them out for some meals and fun too (:
I guess it's time for me to sleep soon . Shall let it end here for today .
And ofcourse do follow me on my twitter or add me on my facebook (:
