2 in 1 mood .

Was thinking back about what happened yesterday when i woke up . Really dislike that feeling . I hate quarrels . Hoping things would be fine , in times . I know we will . I'm just really tired these days . So much so that i've been keeping my emotions to myself too . This aren't the way . I just hope things would be better . At the same time , i know as days goes by , i'll be feeling better . Amen ! 

Baby , i guess you've forgotten about the dairy . It's alright ♥

I've been updating in my computer , i'll pass it to you soon ♥

I hope things will get better for us . I love you ♥

I tried playing it cool

Girl when I'm looking at you

I can't ever be brave

Cause you make my heart race

Shot me out of the sky

You're my kryptonite

You keep making me weak

Yeah, frozen and can't breathe

Some things gotta give now

Cause I'm dying just to make you see

That I need you here with me now

Cause you've got that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my head

And fall into my arms instead

I don't, I don't, don't know what it is

But I need that one thing

And you've got that one thing

Now I'm climbing the walls

But you don't notice at all

That I'm going out of my mind

All day and all night

Some things gotta give now

Cause I'm dying just to know your name

And I need you here with me now

Cause you've got that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my head

And fall into my arms instead

I don't, I don't, don't know what it is

But I need that one thing

And you've got that one thing

So get out, get out, get out of my mind

And come on, come into my life

I don't, I don't, don't know what it is

But I need that one thing

And you've got that one thing

You've got that one thing

Get out, get out, get out of my head

And fall into my arms instead

So get out, get out, get out of my head

And fall into my arms instead

I don't, I don't, don't know what it is

But I need that one thing

And you've got that one thing

Get out, get out, get out of my mind

And come on, come into my life

I don't, I don't, don't know what it is

But I need that one thing

And you've got that one thing

These days , i've been really so lazy . I'm finding for a job to settle down my life . Perhaps MIA soon ?
Well , i'm thinking too much these days . This week . Moodless for everything.  Don't feel like going out .
Somehow i feel myself being very useless of unable to get what i want for myself . In the past , i'm so capable of getting things that i want , anytime . Right now , i can't . I gotta really work hard and start to find job .
My life is screwed !  I'm not letting it continue this way . It have to be better .

These days , been really thinking alot .  Being over paranoid everyday . Fuck it , i swear . I hate the feeling of being neglected , i swear ! I can be understanding , but please don't take it for granted .

超级星光大道 ♥

 This show attract me all the times. Be it i'm being sad or what . 

These days, have been busy watching this . Staying at home the whole day.  ♥

Awesome and i found quite a few songs that i really love . 

Shall get back to my show and update another day . 

night people (:

Lifeless ; goals .

Recently , been really lazy . Laziness is taking control of me . I want my life with full of plans and goals .
I don't wish to be stuck in this kind of lifeless life . I'm starting to find a job for myself , get my pay and get back to my music school . This is what i want . Since my mum aren't supporting me , i'll have my own faith in myself , and also my dad supporting me too . I'll go towards that . I aren't giving up on singing . I'm just stuck in my life , of what i want to do next . I know i can't just stuck here always for the rest of my life .
Firstly , i need a job now . I'm afraid i've lesser time for my friends around me and ofcourse for my babygirl .
Maybe just get a night job ? I may seems to be free everyday , honestly speaking , i hate my life without goals or plans . I swear , this sucks . It don't even feel like life at all . Should i take up my photography course back too ? Aren't these are my passion and interest . I'll for it again . Time is what i need right now .
My birthday is coming in a 2 months time . I'll earn and have fun after that too .

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥




Babygirl , i'm sorry if i make you feel like i've been treating you cold or being very dao to you . Do not think that way , we are still on the same boat . Nothing changes . Iloveyou . ♥

♥

Last night , didn't get to sleep when i got homed . Preparing , spending all my time on a video and blog post for her . Waited for her to wake up , and see those things . Today morning , things doesn't go well for us . Was really upset , moodless to go out . Wanting to drink , disappear and just lock myself in my room the whole day . Talking to her about it and finally things got better for us .

Baby , Now that things have became better , and you're willing to take this journey together with me . Thank you . Thank you for not leaving me here . I'm sorry for words that i've said , being harsh . I don't mean to , i'm just being so paranoid . I apologies for that . Baby . Thanks for that trust you've given me . I'm proving to you with all i could , lets take one step at a time together . I'll hold you tightly to me , never let you fall . Even if we were to fall , i'll keep you away from injuries , from getting hurt . You know what i mean . Let's cherish every moment of us being together from now on . You're not alone to walk through this , i'm here together with you . Facing our matter . I'll give you  my words . All you gotta do is grab tightly on to me . I'll guide you down this sloppy path . Baby . I love you .  ♥

To her , sweeterthanhoneychocolateorwhatevergirlfee of mine ♥

Please bare with me , give me some time by reading them . 

It's a long post .

♥

Still remember how we first met ? On 30 june ,  The day i saw you at cinieleisure and i keep bio you , that moment when i saw you at gong cha till crown pool and we took a photo there together ♥

Soon the next day , i pm you on facebook , taking that photo from you , meanwhile hoping to have nonstop conversation between us and we led on to being together now ♥

020712 - I texted you , had a short conversation and you told me that you're heading to marina barrage that day . I went late , and it was raining . I reach there about 7+ at night . I reached , and you're drenched . Took pictures , playing with the spray . Still remember i was running towards you , targeting you all the while . That night , you were close to me . After marina barrage , we head to tiong bahru to have our dinner . That night you teared . I comfort you , and send you home after dinner ♥

 030712-  We texted the whole day . Somehow things changed . From friends become calling each other baby . It started with you ever since we went to marrina barrage ♥  haha ! You told me your problems and i was over protective towards you from people harming you . You requested a chinese song from me . 

040712- Remember that night was the night you first called me , and you were at waterfront . I was busy that day and so i didn't went down to find you . That day , you somehow got your leg injured and you caused me worried ♥ 

050712- I was suppose to be fetching you from school that day and you admitted into hospital and got me really angry , i went to kkh to visit you and i'm was the first to be there . I was so angry that i didn't talk much to you . After a few hours , things got better that day ♥

060712- On that day , was when i was really angry and moodless because of you and your ex . I didn't bother to give a damn to you . I feel that i was just so extra over there and i got really fed up and went home early that day ): You told me that day that you choice me over him , i was shocked because at that moment i have no intention , but maybe yes . Unsure , but was happy when i heard you saying that . Maybe i'm jealous that day ♥

070712- That day , I was suppose to go and find you , but i got something on that day . We chatted on the phone that night . ♥

080712-. That day we went to marina barrage and have our dinner at bugis food court . That day i got angry again because of me hearing some guy coming . That day we were so sweet, i send you all the way to yishun ♥The day when you and your mum quarrel and your mum disowned you . You were upset that day . We were on the phone talking to each other .♥

♥090712 - The day when we offically got together . The day when you broke up with you ex . The day when i'm working . The day when you wanted to push me away . You quarreled with you mum again , that day . Some how things got better ♥♥♥ That day was the day when we got together , the day where i told myself i must dote you . The day when you'll be under my care and i'll protect you with all i can ♥

100712- That day when i went to fetch after school to go out ♥ I told you a good news that day about us . You were so happy that you almost burst out crying. You were so sweet that day , you wrote a diary for me and waiting for the time to pass because you're looking forward to see me and the time is crawling slowly ♥ I was very tired on that day , due to no sleeping . But i'm happy when you're with me . I meet you at yishun and we went to bugis to meet neelie , claire , eva to have our dinner and went to play pool . That night i got my hand injured because of one guy due to my anger . Well , and we went to Kampong chaichee to sing ♥ That night was lovely with the sone you sang ♥ That cause me to be addicted to it .  "下一個天亮"

110712- Met you after school , you rush over to my house to find me that day to have a chat with elysia . Was happy to see you again . You wrote diary for me again , this time round is with drawings ♥  You love fucking cute with uniform that it keep my smile on my face for the whole enitre day. ♥ Poking your cheek the whole day ♥ We went to sengkang and have our dinner . That night your dad almost disowned you . Am so sorry ): I feel bad and guilty that day but things are alright that day .♥ 

120712- On thursday , we didn't meet . I slept the whole day , and you were calling me in the afternoon but i didn't pick up . sorry baby , wasn't on purpose . We were on the phone the whole night . You seems to be happy that day as i guess things are getting better for you now . ♥ Iloveyou .

130712- On friday . You end school early today . Meet you at woodland . Waiting for you to reach and went for pizza hut with freddy . Today was awesome , together with you . Just simply you,  me and freddy . Went to party world . You sang "下一個天亮" again . Awesome♥ . Do you know how you could actually makes me smile by singing that . I told you the favourite sentence of mine , because is somehow seems like us ♥  Baby . i love you . we had a awesome day today , you being so sweet . Taking photos together . Our memories ♥ That night you make a video just for me . With you having flu , being soo sleepy . Baby , i can really see your effort ♥ Thank you so much ♥

140712- On saturday , meet you at cinieleisure . Baby ♥ you know that i love looking at you with your fringe up , you got yourself a new look for me today . Thank you baby ♥

150712- On sunday . We had a long phone chat with you at night , though we didn't meet . Know what ? Just by listening to your voice , i'm fine ♥ That day you're so happy because i told you talked to your shiver ! Finally (: I love seeing you happy around me ♥ Smile more alright ♥

At the same time we had some argument . I'm sorry baby . I just want you to be fine around me.

You know i dote you and very protective over you , i'll never wants anything to happen to you ♥

iloveyou ♥

160712- On monday . You have school ): I woke you up ♥ I want to be the one waking you up for school always. Being the very first voice you hear when you wake up ♥ But you're sick that day . was suppose to meet you , but didn't . Sorry baby . ♥ We argue over the same things again . 

I feel so disappointed at that moment . i hope you understand , i'm being controling over you ):

i'm sorry for being harsh on words . I'll never do it anymore . I'm sorry . ♥

170712- On tuesday , I woke you up in the morning again ♥ Baby , you know what ? It's such a blessing of waking you up and having you to hear my voice once you wake up , although i'm not beside you . You ought to be strong alright . I'll be here still ♥ i love you . Meet you on that day afterschool ♥ Had some problem , causing you to worry for me . Baby , i'm fine . Sorry to let you worry for me , i'll be fine , i'll still be here kay ♥  Went to amk and had dinner and you were so happy that day . Baby , finally i see you smiling around me ♥ Keep smiling alright ♥

180712- On wednesday , we chat on the phone , didn't meet. I miss you really much . That day i heard many things , got so worried and a little upset . You telling me you're letting your mum know about me and you . Hoping things will be fine . That night just seems weird . I miss you so much ♥

I'm so afraid , you'll let go of me . will you ? That night i got so breathless that i couldn't sleep at night . Went up to hospital . 

190712- On thursday . Sorry baby , got your worried again . Contact you at such a late timing , causing you not going to school for me . I'm sososo sorry . That shows how much you cared for me ♥ Thank you . 

200712- Friday . Today . I woke you up in the morning for school ♥ As usual .

meet you at cinieleisure . You were in a bad mood today . I have no idea how to cheer you up .

No idea what's happening in the first place . Until i found out . 

Baby ; I know you've seen that video that've done for you . Here is the dairies i've comeplete for you.

Even before we were together . I've type on my computer daily . Wanting to hand it over to you on our 1st month . I want to hand this to you right now . To read them before everything is gone . I cherish every moment of our time being spend together . Be it isit happy or sad . Good or bad . As long as we're near each other , i'm happy . I hope you're also happy being with me . I promised you before i'll be here for you no matter what is going on , i'll be your protection . I know your mum had rejected us being together . I know you still wants to be with me . Baby , i'll promise you , i'll be save and sound . I'll protect you still . I'll be here to walk through this path together with you , if you're willing to . Baby . I love you too .I'm sorry for times when i got so angry easily , for not cherish those time with you . I want you to know .you're not alone . I promise . "A boyfriend shouldn't just be a boyfriend. To have it happier and more worthwhile, he should also be your very best friend." I hope i could be the one being right there as your partner , as well as a good friend of yours when you're having problem , you can share with me without having any worries or even thinking twice about it . Baby , have a little faith , a little trust on us .

So , baby . Are you willing to walk through this with me ?

♥ iloveyou ♥

Horrible day .

Last night was a horrible night for me . Couldn't sleep at all . Can just die on the spot , on my bed .
Couldn't sleep . Feel like my neck gonna drop anytime . Bone gonna crack anytime also .
Running high fever , totally cannot breath , causing my chest pain . Wake my grandma up to call my dad to bring me to hospital till afternoon . Finally i could sleep now , at least i'm much better right now .
Having inhaler with me all time , before i run out of breathe again .
Well , thank you grandma for being there for all the while for 18 years . Without you in my life , i'll be really alone . I hope you'll stay healthy for long . I need you here for me . Iloveyou .

Well , shall have a good rest tonight . Heading down to cinieleisure tomorrow . Wait for desmond to come .
Hopefully he will , lets pray ! anyway , goodnight girl♥

Baby ♥ . 
I thank you for those little care and concern you had for me . Worried for me throughout the whole day at home and not going to school . I'm sorry for contacting you back at such a late timing today . I appreciate for all you've done for me . Baby , i hope we will last long . We will , alright . No matter what , at the end of the day we would still be together . Remember ? Iloveyou . No more negative thoughts. We should communicate with each other more , be it good or bad . Sharing all kinds of things to each other . I hope you mum allows us to get together and also i hope even if she don't will you . If in future there's anything happens between us , any conflict , promise me that we won't us the word "break" easily among us okay . Wei'll go through things together and do not keep things between us alright ? I'll be here for you all the time ♥
Don't be afraid we would be apart . From now on , i promise that i'll give my best to you . To walk through every problems that we face , be it yours or mine . I may not be the best , but i know i'll giving my best of all to you . As long as you try , i'll stay .  Although , sometimes we argue about some small matters , but baby you mean more than those matters . I’d rather lose the argument than to lose you  . Iloveyou baby ♥ I can’t fix all your problem but I can promise you won’t have to face them all alone. ღ
Your Stupididotpckmybichtybastardboyfee ♥

Kthxbye  ♥

Unusual .

No idea what's wrong with my tonight , just being over emotional . It have been really long since i feel this way . Sleep but don't wanna sleep . Wanna cry but no tears . No idea what's wrong . Just feel like spamming twitter non-stop that's all . Sometimes i ask myself what i want . Why things change so fast . I'm afraid of being alone , i swear . I hope things can remain as it was . Fears can really change my emotion . I swear .
Well , shall just try to get some rest and stop thinking about things for now . Goodnight .

Words mean little when actions are proving otherwise.

 Trust ? 

It have always been an issue of mine . I guess it applies to every human . Sometimes it's hard for us to trust people among us until the day when things happens , we know who are those that can be trusted .

Somehow for me , things don't goes these way . I don't trust  . I believe .  There's a big difference between "trust" and "believe" . See , observe , listen . That's what i'm always doing , all along . Even as our close friends , sometimes when big matters really happens and you'll know who are those that can make us believe them again . Sometimes the world turn upside down , people that we are close with , that we trust turn the world upside down .  It's really deep disappointment to me . I swear .

As for me , my personality . No one knows me well enough , that's what i can say . Not even my parents .

I know myself well enough . After all , the only person that i trust and i've no problem with trusting is only myself . I can joke at times , but not that often . I'm serious at all times . I might take things to heart when people speak . I know the difference between what should be said , what should not be . Things that should done , and not to be etc .  I'm not 100% perfect human but i'm a 100% perfect of being a imperfect human ! 

Is just my character , my beliefs , my personality .  I dislike taking this to heart . Sometimes things must take it seriously . Sometimes , even a small issue can get into a big issue . Is not easy being a human , i swear . Sucide have been in my thoughts years back when i'm having a slightly depression . Ohwells . Anyway , today updates .

Woke up in afternoon as charlene , elysia and  ivan was at my house last night. Follow by yueting and ahting came to my house in the morning and we went down to nex to meet qianhui , maryn , keith , babyswing . Halfway through when we were having out lunch , we had some issue and decided to meet my babygirl at yio chu kang . Had made my statement at HQ and everyone was safetly back home . 

So really tired today , gotta wake my little princess up for school later on . Shall have some rest now and shall update my blog soon . Goodnight . kthxbye .

Meanwhile , i've been really addicted to this song . Being over emotional now . Repeating this song nonstop . Shall share it here with you guys <3 

醉了吧，反正清醒更断肠

无力去原谅你背叛 

算了吧，反正有你更孤单

你不会知道遗忘有多难

给你的心不要你还，痛不要你偿 

陪你走过一段，七情六欲全都品尝

爱你的苦不要你扛，泪不要你挡

七情六欲打翻，笑着哭哭着笑去想，你的模样

走了吗？走到哪里都一样

你不肯搬出我心上 

断了吗？断了见面想不断

为何我总是为难我的慌 

*给你的心不要你还，痛不要你偿 

陪你走过一段，七情六欲全都品尝

爱你的苦不要你扛，泪不要你挡

七情六欲打翻，笑着哭哭着笑去想，你的模样 * 

Farewell ...

  elysia,ahting,jessica,qianhui,desmond,maryn,heyzer,yueting,me ♥

Today was such a memorable , sad day for us . 

Meet yueting and ahting at my house and we cab down to changi airport to send desmond off.

Sad isin't ?

Miss the way he talk in such a xialan tone . hehe ^~^

Now that he's no longer in singapore but still hope he come back asap. 

He'll be back soon ! 

Came back home at about 12 plus . So many problems occurs . Causes me really upset . In such a difficult position to talk . Not that i'm not being understanding , but i've my role , my part of doing things . I've got so many people to jiao dai . Things aren't that simple for me . As for me i wish that she's save . I dislike seeing her being bullied by others . 

Baby , i hope you understand . Really . As i told you before , you'll always be under my protections . No matter what happens you have to let me know about it . All i want is you save and sound . Maybe really there's some conflicts , let me know . I'll help you in it . You're never alone . Never gonna face it by yourself . Know that . Ever since the day you're with me , you're under my protection. I've my role of taking good care of you , not lettings others bully you . You know i dote you . Seeing the way you got bullied by your brother nonstop , really makes me wanna make you come over to my house and stay , but you're still so young . There's nothing i can do . Or should i say , do you wanna move over to my house instead ? Baby , is time for you to be stronger . Infact from the start , you already is . Because there's me in you . We're 2 in 1 ♥

iloveyou ♥

I'm getting tired . Shall have some sleep first . gotta wake my baby up for school later on ♥

Goodnight , kthxbye♥ 

Me and you equal love ♥

shall let's the photos do the talking first (:

Yesterday , went out to meet my little princess to have our lunch and continue heading to ktv session .

She's lovely isin't ? Looking at those pictures . She's so adorable to the maximum . Such a dearest of mine ,being so sweet so lovely yesterday . Cuddling all the while . I swear , party world is such a corrupted place ! It black out out of sudden , system hang ! Damn . 

Baby ;  Today was really great . Spamming photos nonstop ♥

4 more days to a week of us being together . Hope you're really happy being my side these days , for you know i'll be there for you always , dearest ♥ From the start till now and further more , every little problems that you're facing . Sweet of you completing diary daily just for me ♥ Baby, i know you hardly have time for me , i understand (: Just a call and text from you daily , hearing your voice before you sleep and waking you up for school was such a blessing ♥ Now that , i have the responsibility taking care of you . I'm gonna dote you , protect you with all i can ♥ I want you to be happy whenever you're with me , be it face to face , a call or even a text and this little agreement of reporting to each other no matter what happens daily ♥ Baby , " 请容许我 小小的骄傲 因为有你这样的依靠" ♥ You're such a dearest of mine . Loveyou always ♥ 

No matter how many disagreement we have at the end of the day , we would still be together ♥

My sweetie , done this video for me . Spending 2 days , 6 hours of time doing it for me .

Be it tired , lazy or even got scolded . She still insist to complete it before she goes to sleep .

Poor little girl of mine , i'm really touched by her . She got my tears running down my face for her  ♥

Me and you equal love ♥

Click on this link here to take a look at it (:

BABY : Baby , touched by your video and teared twice . You've successfully got me in tears . Remember the first time i met you ? I was telling others that , i didn't see you cried before and you cried on that day . ha ! ♥ Yes , i accepted you from the very moment . Be it in an unglam moment , or be it a decent girl moment . That's you . The girl that i hope to hear her voice daily , receiving her text , seeing her cute little chubby face and poking her cheek nonstop . I remember you once told me that you're afraid that i might leave you one day , that you might need to start recording my voice soon . HERE I AM , TO ENSURE YOU , ME , JULINE , BOYFRIEND OF YOURS WILL NOT LEAVE AS LONG AS YOU STAY ♥ Until today , what've promised to you , you can always count on me , just like 1,2,3 . I'm always here ♥ You do not have to be the best . We will walk through every little obstacles together as long as you don't give up . Don't even thinking of letting go of you hands , because you'll never get a chance or any reasons to let it go from now on . You're my honey pie and no matter how many disagreement , we would still be together.
♥♥♥

Silly dearest girlfriend of mine . Appreciate much . I watched it repeatedly .
Thanks so much for putting so much effort into it. Have a good rest tonight alright , tomorrow will be a busy day for you , i know . Please take good care of yourself . You're still sick , you're doctor is me . Your job is to hug your doreamon to sleep and sleep tight . See you in the evening tomorrow ♥

GOODNIGHT ; I LOVE YOU TO THE MAXIMUM ! ♥

I want us to be together forever and ever . 

Ilovemy "littlecutiehoneypiesweeterthanhoneychocolateorwhatevergirlfriend" 

I'm her "piggystupididiotpckmybitchybastardboyfriend"  ♥

Shall update my blog soon , am now heading down to town to meet my dearest girl ♥

kbyethx ♥