Things in my mind .

Looking for place to rant all my thoughts and feelings . Still , here is the best place for me . I've been thinking lots of things these days . All regarding one issue . So stress . Carrying this fear with me everywhere i go . Things don't seems good to me at all . I don't wish to get back into the same situation as i had 3 years back . 

I'm afraid that it history will repeat itself . This issue cause me drinking daily , locking myself up , got into depression so badly , tearing . I'm starting to get into that state . Emotional , tearing in the middle of the night sometimes . I don't want it to happen . All i could do is pray that i won't happen anymore . 3 years had passed , i don't wish to have another year of torture , i'll go crazy . I hope you won't be the second one that i'll remember as a bad memories in my life . Hatred with ignorance . When i first heard about it , i told myself that it'll be fine , that it will not happen again , but i couldn't . That fear have been taking controling me , got me go insane . I swear , if it's gonna happen this time round . I won't get myself into such torture . I'll end my life , or either i'll just be the first to leave . All i can do is pray and think positive and making myself not thinking about it anymore . Really such a deep bad scar in my life . Such a nightmare . Please do not repeat it's history .  Amen !

These days , i really need to get myself back , in a right condition .
I don't wanna carry this fear with me everywhere i go . I want to be happy .
Birthday is coming , and i hope i won't have to spend my day tearing on that day .
Need someone who's there for me , who will try to understand me be it how hard it is for them to .
Someone who give up on understanding me . Someone who will stand by my side to lend me a hand to get up . Up till now , i can't find any .
I'm all alone by myself .
I can do things to pleased people around me , but never once someone who actually come up to me and lend me a hand . Maybe this is my fate .
To give and not to have anything in return .
I'm alright . I still prefer giving than taking .
People around me are happy will do . It doesn't matter to me .
The night is still young , shall end here and have my own world tonight .
Goodnight peeps .

kthxbye

These days , hasn't been updating my blog .

Went through many things . Ups and down .

Recently, hasn't been really feeling good at all.

Problems , stress , things in my mind . Got me really going crazy .

So tiring , i want to give myself a break . I'm not gonna rant here anyway .

 My birthday is coming . 5 more days (:

Shall stop here . 

Kthxbye. 

...

Blog seems so dead . Been feeling moody these days . Finally i could calm down alone and just tear. 

Kthxbye . Enough for the day . Heading out to chalet later . 

Happy birthday to clement anyway (:

090812 ♥

Today is national day . Happy birthday to singapore ! 

and ofcourse , my first month with my girl ♥  090712,090812 ♥ 

Met her today for our celebration . Fetch her from her house ---> marina square ----> lunch at pizza hut --> Kbox --> and ofcourse i can't miss out the fireworks. Is sweet to celebrate under those fireworks with your loves one isin't ? ♥ Perfect ! Was looking forward to today few weeks ago . I'm glad , things went smoothly for us today ♥ 

Exchanging gifts for each other . 

Shall done with the talking .

Photos shall do the talking for now :)

Gifts for my girl  ♥ 

From my girl ♥ 

Those fireworks was awesome , isin't ? ♥  I love them . 

Baby , hope you're enjoying the day today ♥  Lets continue counting to the 2nd , 3rd and more together ♥ 

Iloveyou♥ 

Hope you're seeing this. Sweetpie ♥

Baby, I hope you're seeing this . Not sure will you see this , but i hope you do . I don't know what have been going on between us . you've changed ? I've changed ? We changed ? I guess , i'm part of it to , i guess i've changed .  I really hope things get better for us . I'm being over sensitive at times . Sometimes i just hope to have some of you time to spend between us . Just you and me alone . Your time is getting so limited as days goes by. I'm trying to be understanding too . I'm sorry at times for being too over sensitive over small things . Sorry for not giving in much at times . Maybe is just my pride and my ego that are high . I'm sorry . I guess, you're being stress about our issue . Should we have an heart to heart talk between each other some days ? I hope this would get us some where better . I hope you still would share things to me like before , how you used to . Be it what have happened . Even between us , anythings that happens . Our first monthsary is coming soon , see you that day . Hopefully that day goes well for us . Iloveyou baby ♥


Yours ; Stupididotpckmybichtybastardboyfee♥

changes

Been busy mapling this week . Totally didn't went out at all . I guess , many things have been happening . I'm in such a moodless state almost everyday . Thinking through many things . I hope things would be fine and get better. The fact is , if i don't use the time to make it happen , it'll never . I've been struggling. Don't really feel good , i swear . Just hope things would get better . 

Everything had changed ? You ? Me ? Us ? I guess i changed a little , in a sense of being over sensitive i guess . Somehow i hardly get to see you in a week , i just hope i can get to meet you at least once in a week . Your time is just so limited for me , i hope i'm still the priority. You no longer share things with me either , be it what happened . Even between us . I dislike others coming to me telling me this and that , it makes me feel as though i'm not doing my part . I guess we should have an heart and heart talk soon . First month anniversary is coming , had prepared some things for you . I hope that day , things would go well for us too .

Can we be like before how is was . I hope to meet you more often . I'm trying to be more understanding too. Sometimes , i just couldn't take it . These days , at home , i've been feeling down and heavy hearted . Bottled up everything to myself , hate this feeling . Especially in the night , when wild thoughts will be running in my mind , causing me not to sleep . Sigh ~ In jesus name i pray , amen ! I hope things goes well . Amen ! 

Just some ranting on my blog today , nothing much . Shall head to sleep soon .