I'm finally done with my blog . It's been really long ever since i closed my blog . Blogger change so much that I've no idea how to change my template and i decided not to blog because of that few months back . Thanks ahting for helping me to get it done last night and of course right now , i know how to edit them already . Decided to open a blog again because sometimes i really need place for me rant . Like seriously . Twitter is fine , just that there's limit for tweeting . DAMN !
Recently , been thinking alot . After all , almost everyday my mind is thinking about things . I'm someone who chose to be quiet at time , observe things and think really alot . Been wanting to drink badly , but i didn't .Talking about drinking , back than . A year back . I remember i was really a heavy drinker that i drink almost once a week at least , for some reasons i decide to cut down on alcoholic drinks . Sometimes i feel very stressful , when i think about my family , someone who i really care and worry for . I worry everyday ."Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" Thinking and hoping all this will last longer so that i won't have to face all this burden so early . Sometime i ask , why can't my family be at least a little better for me to handle in future. Thinking about future scares me. It makes me teared in the night or be it in the morning whenever I'm alone , awake . Thinking about it . It's scary being alone .
Everyone wants to be love by someone they love , isn't ?
What can we do when actually things aren't the way we feel ?
How it actually feels when someone whom you used to give them everything and lately found out that they actually are just making use of you ?
It seems stupid isn't ?
1 year 3 months of waiting , something that you will never realize , until you're awake and you start thinking about it , and you realize that actually you've all the while being the fool .I don't regret being nice to someone . I'm silly and being soft hearted to people around me that i care and love . Especially towards you .
I dislike someone who come and goes as when they like in my life . My life doesn't allow "re-entry" .But just somehow , towards you . I can never be angry with you for long. But a real big deep disappointment towards you . Don't come to me , when you needed me to be there . Disappearing after a period of time and come back again . That's not how i wish to . But right now, I'm used to your doings. Today the person am i , right now . I won't be giving out anything to you like before . Although , yes , my feelings for you still there . You're just someone that I'll never be angry with for long . These days I've not been texting you , replying you . Reason because , i guess i should be out of your life . All the while , you've been the one walking out , this time round . I'll be the one and never will i U-turn back . I'm sorry .
Monday , june 18 2012
Yesterday , had fun going out with elysia , heyzer ,maryn , clare , zarius , jeremy , andric , desmond and bryan head to sentosa in the afternoon at 2pm in the afternoon , when we are suppose to be meeting in the morning instead :l They went for a swim , while me sitting down and had myself being tanned , alittle and right after that , I'm actually suppose to be heading for my work for the first day , but i changed it and went down to somerset 313 with them and to cineleisure . Settling some problems and me and taigong heading to crown pool to have some rounds of pool games . Was thinking of going bryan's house together with taigong , jeremy , gary for a drink but everyone end up going back home after that. Reached home around 1+ am till now i'm awake .I've been sleepless for 2 days , eyes are closing wherever i go today ): I should have good sleep tonight and see if there's any plans for tomorrow and heading to work after that . I'm cashless, broke . I need to work . I need money . Without money , we human can do nothing . I gotta work hard and earn money for my this coming 18th birthday for celebration and bring them out for some meals and fun too (:
I guess it's time for me to sleep soon . Shall let it end here for today .
And ofcourse do follow me on my twitter or add me on my facebook (:
No comments:
Post a Comment